Are We Speaking Different Languages?
By Dr. Christina Chambreau.
Your dog is always trying to communicate with you, as you are with her. Frustration for either of us comes when we do not realize it may be a language problem, not stupidness, meanness, fearfulness, stubbornness, etc. Imagine being dropped in a foreign country and a very excited person wants desperately for you do something but you can’t understand. Do an experiment – have a friend ask you to do something with a few steps and they can only use 5 words. Notice how you both feel. During the decades of practice and teaching, a common concern is about behavior problems, and too often people have just accepted that nothing can be done.
Never give up hope. One key to a successful relationship with your dog is good communication and understanding how dogs think. Some people get angry – then guilty- when they yell at their dog for a perceived misbehavior (or an actual one). Then the dog just thinks their person does not love them. One trainer says he talks to dogs and trains people. We need to learn how to be one of the pack and use their language.
I am totally amazed at how well dogs learn our language when we do not know theirs. To prevent problems in the future, learn the needs and wants of each dog who comes into your home. And learn how you are always communicating with them – your tenseness, the joy in your eyes, your smile or your pucker, how fast or slow you move. Pay attention to the noises in your home and how they affect the dogs – music, TV, radio, people’s voices.
People often seek out a homeopathic veterinarian or holistic coaching because there are behavior problems, and sometimes that is the only treatment needed. Often the issue includes not knowing their language or recognizing their needs.
Listening and homeopathy
A 4 year old Shi tzu was biting the ankles of many of the roommates in a busy community house. The guardian, an acupuncturist for people, had tried some points for aggression, irritability and anger. She switched to a commercial raw food diet. She tried Rescue Remedy flower essence. These did not help at all. The history showed that the dog had been nippy since a puppy, so this was its 3rd home. Sue was committed to keeping Elsie forever. Because there were 4 people on different work/play schedules in the house, Elsie did not sleep the 12 – 15 hours needed for dog health. Her biting was much worse around feeding time. Her food was in a bowl not on a flat platter and it was located just off the kitchen. When asked to observe, Sue saw tense muscles, ears back and tail tucked before nipping happened. Visitors had to be warned as Elsie rushed at them as they walked in the door. And then apparently randomly she would nip house mates ankles, though never drew blood.
Her biting lessened over the next few months as the house changed a few things. Using coaching from a local TTouch practitioner, Elsie learned to love being in a crate in a quiet room, so her sleeping time increased. All the housemates learned her calming signals and would offer her the crate. When a visitor was expected, she was rewarded by going to her bed and not allowing the visitor to pet her until she showed no reactive signals. Feeding was now in a safe space and whenever possible Sue hung out talking to her while she was eating. With coaching, Sue and her housemates were listening to what Elsie needed to be comfortable. And she was still nipping more than desired.
To completely resolve the nipping, and because Elsie had chronic issues with her left ear, once even an ear hematoma that needed surgery, and always seemed happier in cool weather and being outdoors, One dose of Lachesis homeopathic medicine was given and the current ear issue resolved in a few days. The nipping totally resolved except when she did not have enough sleep or the household was too chaotic to note her communications. Six months later Elsie began chewing on the front left paw, though nothing was found there and she became very talkative, though no increase in nipping. Sue said it began after she had to give a rabies vaccine. We repeated the Lachesis homeopathic medicine because it still fit her individual symptoms and is known to be useful when symptoms appear after a rabies vaccine. She became even less reactive and stopped chewing. Three years later she was a wonderful dog, having no problems, so when her Rabies vaccine was due, I prescribed a dose of the remedy immediately after the vaccine and there was no flare up.
Just the remedy would not have been enough for Elsie to have a happy life – she needed to be heard so they could address why she bit.
Learn Nonverbal Signals
How rich to enter the world of dog to dog language that I am slowly learning. More and more books and videos are available now to learn the centuries old ways dogs interact with each other and all the challenges in their environment, which more recently includes navigating the world of humans. The more you watch the more you will be able to intervene in dog to dog interactions, or in your daily dog to human relations. Record what you are learning in each dog’s Healthy Dog Journal.
As with humans, some signals can mean different things according to the context. These are the early clues to help you shape both of your behaviors. For instance, stretching in the downward dog pose can be prep for lying down, stretching after exercise…or it can be saying the current situation is a bit tense, too challenging and I need to decompress. Shaking, which I do when physically stressed, can be calming, therefore indicating you need to pay attention to what is going on, or it can be shaking off water or just having fun. Tail wagging and offering the belly can have different meanings depending on the context. They may feel safe and loved, or be nervous. Context includes looking for other “words” – are they relaxed or tense tail ear and muscles along with the other “words” for being stressed or nervous.
When your dog turns her head away from you, or even walks away, you may think they are mad or do not like you. Actually they may think you are mad or upset and they are trying to calm you down! I am training myself to pet for a short time (a few seconds to a minute), then stop and see if she pulls away or leans in for more.
Other ways dogs relax and release tension, or try to de-escalate a perceived dangerous situation (even from you), include shaking their whole body, self grooming, licking their lips, yawning, tail wags, sneezing, freezing, smiling, stopping their play to sniff, wagging their tail, putting ears down. This could clue you to reconsider what you were asking for at that moment or to intervene, though waiting a bit to see if they are able to take care of themselves is valuable.
Use clues to build health
How wonderful to be so in tune with your dog as you learn their language that you realize they want a different food, different ways of showing affection, new ways to play, more choices in their daily routines, or even different health care approaches. Maybe a stiff dog has been given a drug which helps the symptoms but after a short time no longer wants the pill. Maybe a clue for you to explore alternatives. Working to resolve separation anxiety, you notice the tiny clues of yawning when you worry about his possible fear. You try shifting your thoughts and emotions and the yawning goes away, then there is less upset when you leave. You may need to modify many of your leave taking behaviors as you carefully notice the early clues of distress.
Noticing your dog who loved to cuddle on your lap is now avoiding you or has tense ears and tail, you wonder what has changed. Oh, yes, you are using a new blanket, so go back to the old one and she is in your lap again.
When communicating is not enough
As with nippy Elise, there may be an underlying energetic imbalance to be corrected. Acupressure (great articles here on that), vibrational essences, Essential oils, Reiki and other pure energy treatments, Tui na, and dozens more can be learned by you. If still challenged, a veterinarian trained in homeopathy, Chinese medicine, osteopathy or chiropractic may be needed. See my earlier articles for how to find a wonderful one to work with, even if virtually.
There is always hope, always a new approach to learn, another practitioner to help. In my coaching practice, each animal often needs a different relationship with you and others, different treatments, to be at ease in the world. Worth the effort! You CAN have a wonderful relationship with each dog.
Dr. Christina Chambreau graduated from veterinary college in 1980 and has been helping families be healthy since the late eighties. She now offers Virtual Pet Health Advising and is faculty at the Holistic Actions Academy. Her advising also helps match you with the best choice holistic veterinarians for current problems. Schedule a 5 minute free call to see how she can help – HealThyAnimals@aol.com
