The Human Side: Why We “Pre-Suffer”
By iKE ALLEN, Happy Healthy Dog Co-Founder.
Humans are just as good at this as our dogs. We have our own versions of the “key jingle.” Maybe it’s the notification sound on your email, the sight of a certain person’s name on your caller ID, or even just the feeling of waking up on a Sunday evening.
When we feel that “jingle,” our brains immediately start scanning for threats. We start rehearsing the worst-case scenario. We “pre-suffer” the outcome of a conversation, a deadline, or a difficult situation. We treat the thought of the future as if it were an immediate physical threat.
When we [ReThink] this pattern, we realize that we’re wasting a massive amount of energy on a “future” that hasn’t happened yet. Just like your dog, we’re living in a state of high alert for something that doesn’t exist in the present moment.
How to Break the Loop (For Both of You)
The way to fix this—for your dog and for yourself—is to decouple the cue from the fear.
For Your Dog: The “Counter-Routine”
If your dog panics when they hear your keys, you need to turn those keys into a signal that something great is about to happen.
- The Fix: Pick up your keys, jingle them, and then… sit down on the couch and watch TV. Or grab a handful of high-value treats and scatter them on the floor.
- The Goal: You’re breaking the association. You’re teaching their brain that the “jingle” doesn’t automatically mean “panic.” You’re giving them a chance to [ReThink] what that sound predicts.
For You: The “Present-Moment Pivot”
When you feel that dread creeping in—that “Sunday Scaries” feeling—don’t try to “fix” the problem you’re worried about. That just adds more anxiety. Instead, try to [ReThink] the trigger.
Try this mini-audit next time you feel the dread:
- Name the Cue: What is the “jingle” in my life right now? (The email notification? The calendar alert? The thought of tomorrow?)
- The Reality Check: Am I responding to something happening right now, or am I responding to a prediction about the future?
- The Pivot: Disrupt the pattern. If you’re at your desk, stand up and go drink a glass of water. If you’re pacing, sit down and do a breathing exercise. Change your physical state to snap your brain out of the “anticipation” loop.
The Bottom Line
You can’t control everything that happens in your day, and your dog can’t control when you leave the house. But you can control how much energy you spend worrying about it beforehand.
By learning to recognize these “cues” and [ReThink] our responses, we can stop the cycle of anticipatory anxiety. We can help our dogs stay calm, and we can save ourselves from a lot of unnecessary stress. After all, the future is going to arrive whether we’re worried about it or not—we might as well enjoy the time before it gets here!
