Deep Communication with Dogs

By Dr. Christina Chambreau.

Soften, Observe, and Really Listen

For the last forty years, I have lived with cats rather than the dogs and cats of my youth. Over the past ten years of co-hosting webinars at Holistic Actions, serving on the panel for Smart Pet Talk TV, and reading the thoughtful articles here at Happy Healthy Dog, I’ve been introduced to many new ways of partnering with dogs — ways I had never known before.

This year, that learning became personal. I lived with two dogs: one for a month in his own home, and one for a week in mine. What I want to share is how choosing to observe before reacting, and really listening enriched my relationship with both of these dogs — and how it might spark a new way of thinking about your own. There is no one right way and for a long term relationship with your dog, you may need to explore many different approaches. Observing and listening would be keys to success for any of them.

Dogs still need to be dogs

Temple Grandin says that one thing an animal needs to be happy is the ability to express normal behavior. Even though our dogs look very different from wolves, many of their actions still arise from their early history as canids, yet we ask them to adapt to us.

Our home is their den. Their territory may be the quieter parts of the house, the yard, and the familiar walking routes. Everything else is foreign land.

Seen through this lens, many behaviors suddenly make sense: guarding, hesitating, sniffing, choosing certain resting places, watching the door. These are not problems to fix — they are expressions of ancient needs in a modern world. The foreign land analogy is useful to remind you of the need, sometimes, to retrain a practiced behavior if you are in a different territory.

Three levels of relationship

Over time, I have noticed at least three different ways humans relate to dogs.

One: This is a dog. Period. I will lovingly train the dog to fit into my lifestyle. There are many training styles here, but the goal is the same: compliance and good manners.

Two: I want my dog companion to have the very best life. I will try to understand what she needs.
I will provide fresh food, limit toxic exposures, and give plenty of exercise. As I read the Five Element articles here at Happy Healthy Dog, I found myself smiling — “You are mostly fire!” Suddenly behavior had meaning. There is warmth and care here, but communication still mostly flows one way… unless there is a problem.

Three: This is a sentient being who has chosen a path in life that joins my path in life.
They have much to teach me. At this level, learning a dog’s language becomes important: tail, eyes, ears, posture, rolling over, moving away, leaning in. Maybe I spend a few minutes each day simply observing and wondering what she might be thinking. That may lead me to offering more choices: Which direction would you like to walk? Would you like this type of meat today?
Shall I continue petting you? Which brush do you like best?

Even illness looks different at this level. If your dog is reluctant to get into the car when sick to go to the vet, maybe the best choice is to pause and observe before rushing off to the ER.
Can we partner so that you will love having me examine every inch of you, trim your nails, and pull burrs from your paws? Maybe I will notice that you keep staring at pink and realize I changed your bedding from pink to blue — and you want the pink back.

And maybe, if I listen deeply enough, you may show me things about myself that I am missing.
When you act out or seem nervous, pausing to ask how I am being may open new behaviors in myself. When you irritate me, what is my state of mind? When you do not want to eat, was I rushing to feed you because I was late or worried?

Learning animal communication or energy healing can help us trust the abilities we each have (I am still working on this after forty-five years).

What the dogs taught me

Both dogs I lived with were wonderful teachers.

One was a super, well-behaved, happy German Shepherd. He wanted to walk faster than my husband or I could manage and pulled hard at first. He quickly learned not to pull too much — but chasing dogs or squirrels was different. Once, he pulled the leash right out of my hand and at first, we were in control mode, afraid he would run off.

Then we became proactive observers, distracting him in some way before he reached full excitement.

After a few weeks, something surprising happened. We began to notice when he heard or saw something before we did — through tiny changes in posture and attention, then we softened and sometimes did not need distractions. Walks became conversations and much more fun.

The Yorkie was a different kind of teacher. She was very communicative, using yips and body signals. When she wanted to be picked up, she turned her back to me.
Had her person not explained this, I might have thought she was standoffish and felt sad — when in fact she was being smart.

The first day, she missed her person deeply, sitting by gates and doors her person often used. At two in the second morning, she wanted out and headed straight for the parking spot. Aha! I carried her there, let her sniff, told her there was no car and how smart she was to remember. Only then did she turn back toward the front door and looked no more for her person.

An invitation

Listening is an active practice of humility. Listen before correcting. Try pausing when your dog seems “difficult” and ask what might make sense from a dog’s point of view.

You may find that your dog has been speaking all along and when we learn to recognize and hear those requests, something shifts so control becomes connection, management becomes relationship and our dogs are partners.

Dr. Christina Chambreau graduated from veterinary college in 1980 and has been helping families be healthy since the late eighties. She now is faculty at the Holistic Actions Academy and offers Virtual Pet Health Advising, including matching you with the best choice holistic veterinarians for current problems. www.MyHealthyAnimal.com for a free newsletter.